I’m Off the Ledge


I guess I need to start with a big ole’ THANK YOU to all of you for the talking down! You really came through for me with all of your points of view and words of wisdom, and I truly appreciate it. Of course, I found it amusing how the comments (both on my blog and via email) were almost split right down the middle. Gee, if only you had all unanimously agreed, that would have made things easier — tee hee.

After a day off work, some of which was literally spent in the fetal position wallowing in self pity, I am having a better day, but I still have not really made a decision either way. I’m taking some time to process all the great advice, and for now I’m taking “Trogdor’s” advice to not make any decisions while I’m so emotional about it, and waiting until the last day to make my final decision and turn in my letter of intent (due next Thursday). At least the letter of intent is just that, and it’s not anything set in stone.

In other news, I am heading for Santa Clara tonight for the CATE (California Association of Teachers of English) conference. I don’t know if that’s ironic given my current state of mind or what. I have mixed feelings about it.

The Good Feelings:
I get to get away and I think I could use that, even if I’ll be sitting in workshops about vocabulary development or helping middle school writers.

These conferences usually generate some excitement about teaching and serve to recharge my battery so to speak. Hopefully, it will help get me through the rest of the year.

The Bad Feelings:
It’s my first time away overnight from the Muffin. Poor Greg will be a single parent from tonight when he picks her up from daycare (his first time!) until I get back late Saturday afternoon. I am sure they will do just fine as long as Greg doesn’t give into to those baby blues and let her stay up until all hours of the night watching television with him since she is FINALLY on somewhat of a good sleep schedule. But seriously, Greg is a great daddy. Still, I’ll be away from my Muffin who is STILL breastfeeding, BTW. I’m doing the bad thing and forcing her to go cold turkey (or cold milk if you want to get literal about it) for the weekend. I’m hoping this will at least kick start the full weaning! Oh, and because she is still breastfeeding, that means I have to pack my breast pump, and that fact alone necessitates my having to use the bigger suitcase which I will have to check instead of just taking my carry-on. UGH! (Trust me, I really tried to fit everything into the carry-on!)

In addition to Muffin Withdrawal, I will desperately miss my former colleagues who have been the usual suspects on this annual trip. This year, I am going with two new English teachers in our department. They are nice, but it just won’t be the same.


  1. trogdor says:

    It would be interesting to see what you think of CATE this year. Usually, it’s pretty reinvigorating, but I found last year that it was flat, staid. It felt almost as if the profession was…dead and irrelevant. On another note, while you’re waiting to make your decision, you can also get a piece of butcher paper and hang it somewhere prominent and make a T-chart of Pro and Con and add/remove things periodically from your list. Have fun at CATE.

  2. Minimeltdown says:

    Wow…could be a hard weekend for Greg but something tells me he’ll make the best of it! It’s good to go away, even though it can be so hard. I think, hopefully, you’ll find it beneficial, both personally and professionally.

    Tell us all about it when you get back.