Search & Rescue


I didn’t want to say anything, but Fred and Velma have been missing for some time now. We found Daphne early on stuffed in a tissue box, but Fred and Velma? Gone. Vanished.

Sure, we sent out search and rescue parties and checked in all the usual spots: under the bed; in the couch cushions; in my jewelry armoire; in all the purses; in all the closets and cars; in the training potty; in the toaster. We held out hope for a long time. Surely they must be somewhere. But after a few weeks with no sign, I resigned myself to the fact that they may be gone forever. Perhaps they got thrown away. Perhaps the dog chewed them. Perhaps they got kidnapped and sold as overseas sex slaves.

Cut to…today.

My mom has been away visiting relatives, and taking care of some important things. She was coming home tonight, so I thought I’d spend the day cleaning so she wouldn’t see the utter disaster it had become while she was away she could come home to a nice, clean house. I set about moving furniture to vacuum. Among the furniture–my dad’s chair.

This is my dad’s chair:

There’s a special place in the back Charlie likes to stuff things:

When Fred and Velma first disappeared, it was the first place I looked.

Today, when I began to move the chair to vacuum, I noticed a sheet of paper stuck down in the side of the chair. I stuck my hand to get it. “What the…” I found myself saying. I felt something. I pulled it out. I felt another something. I pulled it out. I moved on to the other side. I turned the chair upside down and pulled out more. When all was said and done, the scene looked like this:

Stuffed way inside these little side crevices (the wood part at the top of the photo is an arm rest):

Was this:

Let me give you the rundown:

  • Fred
  • Velma
  • a watch that had been missing for at least a month
  • a cell phone that we searched high and low for about two months ago
  • a butter knife
  • a sticker book
  • an insurance bill
  • Scrabble tile holders (I threw out the Scrabble board just last week convinced we’d never get all the letter tiles and the holders back)
  • a dog biscuit (not pictured since my dog snatched it while I went to get the camera)
  • an emery board
  • a plastic McDonald’s burger patty
  • a popsicle stick
  • a doll’s pacifier
  • a pink plastic frog
  • some paper trash

So how’s that for a search and rescue?

When I picked Charlie up from daycare today, I said to her, “Guess who I found today! Fred and Velma!”

She responded, “What are you talking about, Mom?”

Fred and Velma aren’t talking about what happened. But it was a happy reunion:

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