About Now


My life as a teacher seems like such a lifetime ago. Even though it hardly seems possible, everyone is getting ready for “back to school” now. Or at least that’s what I hear. I went from being a student to being a teacher, so “back to school” has been part of my vernacular for most of my life.

This time of year was such a part of me.

Right about now I’d be wondering where the summertime went and cursing the fact that I never got to half the things I had wanted to.

Right about now I’d be making shopping trips to Education Station and Staples thinking of my color theme for my classroom this year. (I’d change it each year and spend way too much money trying to make a cold, white-walled classroom look homey and feel cozy– I never succeeded quite the way I wanted.)

Right about now, I’d be excited to see colleagues I had missed. I’d be catching up on their summer stories and relishing smiles and hugs.

Right about now I’d be preparing class lists and labeling writing folders wishing I were better with learning names and that it wouldn’t take me until November to know all of my students.

Right about now I’d be thankful for a fresh start and a new beginning—beaming with ideas and hope for the new school year—the year that would be the best ever.

Right about now, I’d be seeing the tanned, rested faces of the students and hearing the happy calls of “Hi Mrs. Stevens!” across the campus, and I’d be waving and smiling back at he best part of the job.

This time of year was such a part of me.

Is it strange I don’t miss it?

Oh, I miss my students and my colleagues and the energy of new beginnings. But otherwise?

There’s an emptiness for sure—but the emptiness comes not from a loss of what was, but for a longing for what will be.

Such a longing.

Because right about now, I am meant to be doing something else.

I only wish I knew what.

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