Aug
20

I Got Nothin’

By

“Hey, It’s George….I got nothin’ to say.”

~George Costanza’s  (Seinfeld) message on Jerry’s answering machine

Today, I’m feeling a little like that. I got nothin’.

It’s about 9:00 pm and I was starting to get a little panicked about my blog as I hadn’t posted for the day yet, and worse, I had absolutely no ideas in mind. I committed to posting every day this month, and I’ve been doing well, and it’s been good for me to force myself to write every day. But some days, it just stresses me out. I went to my list of blog post ideas I started at the beginning of the month, but nothing sparked. I looked to my daughter hoping for inspiration for some “mommyism” to share. Still nothing.

Sit down and start writing, Kelly. Just sit down and start writing, dammit.

So here I am. And all I can hear is George Costanza in my head.

Some days I battle the self doubt demon, some days I’m just plain lazy, and some days, like today…well, I just got nothin’.

I started the usual regimen of self-flagellation: Maybe if I read more or followed the news or knew more about what was going on in the world or was a better mother I would have something to say.

Sure, I got a cute kid and a fair amount of personal reflection and self-discovery, and an opinion or two on things that I can throw in the ring. But some days my world, my brain—it’s quiet.

Is that such a bad thing? I mean really.

Yes, there are plenty of things going on in my life and in the world, and there is indeed so much to say. But that’s just it. I think of all the millions of blog writers and the millions of Facebook users and millions of Tweeters, and all of the noise.

Good God, the noise.

Everybody is saying something and everybody is clamoring to be heard.

Is it a wonder I am so hesitant to compete in that din?

That’s the hard part about writing on this space every day. I hate to write for the sake of writing. But I also have to write for the sake of writing.

A paradox, no?

So here I am– a part of the noise.

It’s all well and good. I don’t want to be lost in the crowd, silent.

But I’ll save my shouting for when I have something to say and I want to be heard.

For today, I’ll just whisper…I got nothin’.

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