Aug
05

A Threading Virgin No More

By

Today I tried something that I have been wanting to try for a long time now—eyebrow threading.  I must confess that I needed to work up the courage, because, well, hair removal? Let’s just say I have issues.

Waxing and shaving are the bane of my existence. Outfits are chosen or discarded based on the need for me to shave. I procrastinate and avoid it like a high school sophomore with a term paper due. And then, when I can put it off no longer because my eyebrows look like warring caterpillars or my leg hair could ask for its own blow dry, well, because I don’t live in Europe, with a heavy sigh, I give in.

For my legs (okay, my feet too if you really want to know) and nether regions, mostly I shave. I hate waxing. I have had my legs waxed a few times and sure do like the results. But the pain? Not so much. Even fewer times than leg waxing, I’ve had a bikini wax. Okay, ouch doesn’t quite cut it.  And then enter (quite literally) ingrown hairs.  So I just shave. Which sounds easy enough, but alas…

I have a combination of fair, sensitive skin and course dark hair so I get razor burn rather easily.  I try to do the quickie shaves while showering, but results are never good. That means it works best if I shave after soaking in a hot bath. And even that doesn’t guarantee bump-free skin. I take my time and use plenty of shave gel. I talk soothingly and reassuringly to my legs and sing them happy songs. That seems to help.

Then there’s my face.

My eyebrows get waxed and although it hurst, I’ve gotten kind of used to it. I hate hate HATE tweezing and at least one big RIIIIIP is easier for me to take than pluck, pluck, pluck. Of course there is still the need for some tweezing to shape and get to those stubborn just-try-to-make-me-come-out hairs. But just the sight of the tweezers sends me twitching, and when the plucking starts, my toes and fists curl, and it usually triggers a sneezing fit. I pray I don’t accidently punch or snot up the aesthetician. Good times.

I used to only get my eyebrows waxed and thank the hair gods that at least I didn’t have a mustache. But then I started to get asked, “Do you want your lip done too?”  Dammit. At least my lip hair is fine and blonde. And then my few chin hairs that my husband would lovingly tweeze for me (so romantic) sent for reinforcements so now if I don’t wax that too, I could grow a goatee and then I would have to join the circus and I’m not really into that.

And despite the fact that I have gotten my face waxed many many many many times, I still get super red and need to schedule my waxing when I can go and hide for a couple hours afterwards.

See, I told you I had issues.

So why did I start this tangent? Oh, right. Threading.

I was intrigued by threading when I first heard of it. I read about the advantages—how threading is more precise than waxing yet does not take off any skin, and how it is less expensive—so I really wanted to try. I would pass the “brow bars” that are now fixtures in major shopping malls, and pause and watch. I would be totally fascinated, but I could never work up the nerve. I had heard mixed reviews about the pain. I heard it’s less painful than waxing. I heard it’s more painful than waxing. I heard it’s not painful at all. I heard it hurtslikeasonofabitch. I would be tempted every single time I would pass, but I would ultimately wimp out. Plus, it was the mall, and I didn’t really want me and my hair removal on display for everyone to see on their way to the food court.

In getting to know my new neighborhood, whenever I would drive to the local ShopRite, I would pass a waxing and threading salon. Today, as a spur of the moment decision, I decided to finally give it a try. My eyebrows were not in terrible shape, and just needed some cleaning up, but my chin and lip were way past overdue. In I went.

Inside there were three threading stations and a short line of a women waiting. Nervously, I sat down.  When it was my turn, I told the woman, “Okay, I’ve never done this before. Usually, I wax.”

She smiled reassuringly and looked me over. “Well, your eyebrows okay, but you have a lot of hair here,” she said motioning to my mug, so that I will wax.”

“Okay,” I said. “But the threading? I’ve never done this before. Will it a hurt?”

“A little pain, yes. Not too bad.” She went to work.

She started with a few passes of the thread. It wasn’t like tweezing. It wasn’t like waxing. It wasn’t even like my worst fear, my bad flashbacks to the Epilady. (Remember that electric coil that would rip multiple hairs out as it rotated. Who thought that was a good idea?) It was just…weird.

You know that sound people make when trying to imitate a typewriter going really fast? That’s what it made it me think of. “That’s not so bad.” I said.

She positioned my fingers above and below my eyebrows and had me pull the skin taut. She threaded away. Oh, it hurt for sure, but not unbearably so. I grimaced and whimpered a little through it, but I lived. For me, the pain level was about the same as waxing. And I didn’t get red! Of course, I couldn’t say the same for my lip and chin since those got waxed, but I am hoping that maybe in the future I could deal with getting those threaded too if I didn’t let the hair get too far out of control. I am not getting my hopes up just yet because those fine blonde hairs, for some odd reason, hurt waaaay more than the dark course ones coming out. But I am tempted to try since I had bemoaning the fact that I couldn’t use my prescription the dermatologist gave me for my face because I couldn’t wax if I did (and I made the mistake of trying to do both anyway), so maybe threading is my answer. I am going to have to give it a try in a couple weeks!

The best part, though, is that it was half the price I usually pay for my waxing. Half!

So there you have it– my very first threading experience. It’s too early to tell if I’m a total threading convert. But at least I’m less hairy today. And that’s a good thing.

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Categories : journeys in life

Comments

  1. Irene Landon says:

    GOOD FOR YOU .. AND BTW MRS. ENGLISH TEACHER, I BELIEVE YOU MISSPELLED “TAUGHT” – I THINK IN THIS CASE IT IS “TAUT” (OR DID I MAKE THAT UP?)

    [Reply]

    Kelly Reply:

    Thanks, Mom. You are right. I fixed it. Just ’cause I was an English teacher, doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes :-)

    [Reply]

  2. Lisa Kelly says:

    I myself have always wanted to try threading but my sister said it was SO painful that she almost didn’t get her second brow done. Given you are less of a drama queen I think I’ll take your word for it.
    (and I think we were threading during our work day – another to-do that is supposed to be done after hours or on the weekend my friend)

    [Reply]

    Kelly Reply:

    I think the key to the pain might simply be to keep up with it consistently so there’s not a huge amount of hair to remove, because it does hurt. Like I said, I had gotten waxed pretty recently, so that meant less threading, and the threading was mostly clean up and shaping.

    And YES, I was getting threaded on my “working to find a job’ days. It was on my way home from waiting for Greg’s car at the Toyota dealer where I had been pretty productive thanks to their free WiFi. But I know you’re keeping and eye on me and keepin’ me honest. This is why I love you.

    [Reply]

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