Coming Up For Air


You still there, Readers?

So yeah, after posting for 39 days straight (*pats self on back) I decided I needed a break. And the first two days I took a break and did not post, I did not feel guilty. I felt good, in fact. Rested. But then the break turned into a week, and I know from experience how quickly a week can turn into two or three or a month, and the longer I go without writing, the harder it is to get back to, so tonight, I was all Kelly, get back to blogging and just post something already! (*smacks self upside the head). Okay, okay. So here I am. Dazed, but here.

Much as I hate writing the “so this is what I’ve been up to” type posts (unimaginative much?) for some reason, I feel like I should. Plus, it’s after midnight and my muses went to bed without me hours ago.

Tomorrow (or I guess it’s technically today now– whatever) will be the end of week two of my new job in Corporate America. And I feel it’s not too premature at this point to make the following declaration: Not. For. Me. Yes, I know I last wrote about it when I was having a bad day, and yes, things  have gotten better, but still, at this point I can objectively rule out CubicleLand as my dream job.

Muffin had adjusted really well. Much better than I have. We prepared her for it as much as we could and talked it up with excitement the week before I started. “Mommy’s going to start a new job and you’re going to get to go to school and see your friends and Miss Kim and Miss Nikki every day!” The routine of going to school every day combined with the fact that the daddy’s girl now gets to leave the house with daddy in the mornings (he is on drop-off duty)  has helped make it a relatively easy transition.

In fact, the other day, when I picked her up and I was making a big fuss about how much I missed her, she stared at me with ‘What’s your problem, lady?’ look and  said, “I was just at school, Mom. It’s ooooh-kay.”

I love that kid.

Of course, it’s not all cake. Yesterday, she threw her first morning “I don’t want to get up!” tantrum. Then I had a tantrum myself because she was making me late (and there may or may not have been some shoe throwing) and the daddy had to take over, but she was fine by the time I left the house and did what she normally does–waved and blew me kisses from the kitchen window.

Did I say that I love that kid?

Anyway, the job involves sitting at a desk and staring at a computer screen and reading all day. I knew it would be a tough transition from classroom teaching (and then two years of being a SAHM) but woooaaaa. I mostly miss just moving. I am used to having blocks of time to present information and help and monitor and interact with students (none of which can really be accomplished by sitting at a desk) followed by blocks of time to buckle down and grade papers or plan lessons, or shoot the breeze with a co-worker, or sneak out to Starbucks for coffee, or catch up on email, followed by another block of time back with the kids…

But this sitting at a desk all day long? And all computer work? Ugh.

My eyes and my wrists are killing me. I am also adjusting to new glasses. They are progressive lenses– a fancy term for bifocals with no lines. Because apparently I’m old. (It’s also another reason I slacked off on the blogging. I need a break from staring at computer screens when I get home.)

And I am trying very hard to be present to my daughter at night when I with her because I only get about three or four hours from the time I pick her up until bed time. And I still need to lie down with her to get her to go to sleep.

So yeah. Waaa waaa waaa. Poor me. I know.

But that’s what I’ve been up to. Trying to get used to this new routine and still find the time to fit in my writing and work on other goals. The ones that will hopefully get me out of CubicleLand. It hasn’t been easy. I’m trying my darndest to hang in there. And I will.

But now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to join my muses in their slumber.

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  1. LeeWee says:

    Teaching doesn’t seem so bad now does it? :)


    Kelly Reply:

    You know, Lee, at first I thought that. And I definitely miss certain aspects of teaching. I miss interacting with the kids. I miss presenting. I miss the movement. I miss the creativity. I miss the schedule. But then I remembered that I did want to get out of the classroom for a reason. There was something about it that put knots in my stomach. with all the paper grading and thinking about what and how I needed to teach, I often felt like I never left the job. If this job has one positive, it’s that when I go home, I go home. Don’t have to think about it again until I’m at my desk the next day. The upshot is, haven’t reached my destination yet :-)


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